Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
