There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wish there were birth control emojis
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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