I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
