just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
