You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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