I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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