yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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