Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
