I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
