Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
