Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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