Sry I called you an 8
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
