Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
