Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
