he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
