Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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