we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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