so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
