its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
