brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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