the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
love makes seman taste better
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
