I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
