Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
