She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize