i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
