she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
