Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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