I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
