I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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