when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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