your room smells of hookers.
And success
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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