We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize