Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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