we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
