yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
