We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
