this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
