We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize
