just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
