WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just want to make out with him forever
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
