hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
