Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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