why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Green mimosas i think yes
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
