Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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