I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
