I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
