everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
