brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
