Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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