Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
