i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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