Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if only i could text you this smell
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
