when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
